Friday, November 14, 2014

Today I learned: Choose your battles wisely.

Currently, I read the neat book "Don't sweat the small stuff ...and it's all small stuff"

One chapter is called "Choose your battles wisely". In this chapter the author argues that winning each and every argument is a bad bad strategy for every relationship.
Not only I would burn out if you want to correct each and every misbehavior of your kids, but I would be a really, annoying wisenheimer if I got into battle for every mistake my wife makes.
Frankly, sometimes I am a wisenheimer. I loose myself in arguments about small stuff nobody gives a dump about. I sometimes still search for arguments when others say to me: "You're right and I have my peace" -- meaning they still think they're right, just leaving me with my arguments alone.

So, instead of trying to be right all the time, I found it's better to be kind most times. And to debate in important stuff only.

My son notoriously mixes his right and left shoe up. So he put his right shoe on his left foot and vice-versa. Do I want my son to get his shoes in his right feet? Surely, I do. Do I correct him every time I see he makes an mistake? No. Why not? Because it's not important. Usually he walks only some meters with his shoe setup before he has to take them off again. It's just not worth it. Someday he'll be old enough to recognize it by himself.

My wife sometimes tells stories a little bit differently than I have them in my memory. Do I corrected her every time? Sadly: yes. Way too often. This is something I have to work on.

My colleagues do want to implement something differently than I wanted it to be. I think my solution is the better one. Shall I fight for my solution? In my (current) opinion: Only if it's worth it for me.
I might piss people, even close and loved ones, off with my statements. I might hurt someone.

So it's better worth fighting for. Being right for the sake of being right is not worth it.

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