April is Over. May Is Coming.

April is over. One month filled with the duty to work out every day, or spend at least one hour outside is over. And I'm really glad about it.

I don't know what to say. I did not like to work out. I avoided it where it was possible. Instead of doing pushups, I pushed my wheelbarrow filled with mud. Instead of doing situps, I leveled the surfaces in my garden. Instead of running, I walked. Instead of some hard stuff, I chose other stuff.

I procrastinated. I even chose yesterday conciously not to workout at all. I had good excuses thorough: On some days I was sick, not feeling able to work out. Yesterday it was late, and I knew I had to rise early. I had absolutely no interest in losing half an hour of precious sleep just to fulfill this stupid commitment.

On the other hand: The only really hard choice was to work out now. Now.
I really liked to feel energized so much, that I could not hold it and starting running during my walking exercise. Now, back from an one-hour long walk outside in the dark in the middle of nowhere in Lower Saxony, (I walked today one hour, because I walked zero minutes yesterday, to compensate the mild feelings of guilt ^^), I feel tired, exhausted from this energy-draining day, but.. happy.

I also liked what happened to my self esteem. There were days, where I felt alpha-like. I enjoyed my improved posture, I enjoyed walking chin up. I felt great.

I had great stress this month. I hated it to go outside and walk for half an hour. It felt like a waste of time. But in retrospective, I'm not so sure anymore. I think I got more out walking outside than sitting in front of the computer all day.
I think, actually, intellectually, I know that half an hour of movement each day is good for me. But still I do not like it. Especially I do not like movement that seems pointless and boring. Push-ups are incredibly boring. Running on a treadmill is even more boring. I need distraction, I need diversion, I need some darn relief from the current pain. Not real pain, just boredom and discomfort. So running outside is way better for me than on a treadmill. And running outside is better for me than doing push-ups. Okay, maybe not really strictly better, but easier. And an fitness app helped me to motivate myself to run faster. (Gosh, I am easily manipulated.)

So what's the conclusion of this month?

It was, after January, in which I skipped dinner, a real challenge. I failed hard. But I still feel great. Why? Because my failure was so much better than not trying at all.

What's next? In ten minutes from now, I won't be allowed to drink caffeine during May. No coffee, no latte, no tea. No Cola, No vodka energy.
I believe, it will suck. (Writing last sentence, I went into the kitchen and filled my glass with an not particurlaly well tasting energy drink, just for the caffeine. Sounds a little bit like an addict. Ish.)

Additionally I will continue to either work physically for one hour or work out for half an hour each day.
Additionally I will drink at least two liters of water each day.

Let's roll!